Unreal 2 Cold Illusion - Winter's Chill: (Adult Suspense Thriller) Read online

  Ethan Graff would have to work overtime to make that happen.

  Leo moved to her side.

  “Connie, I hate to ask. But can… can you…”

  And she kissed him. How she could even think of such contact after all she had seen was nearly impossible, but Morales liked being with Leo. He was sweet when he was not posing, and sometimes Morales needed a break from the dark. She needed to find some sweetness and just sink into it.

  “Connie?”

  Morales kissed him again, and he guided her away from the glass.

  The way to his bedroom was well known to her. She spent more nights than not in his arms. It was a total conflict of interest, and they had a silent vow to keep their real relationship under wraps when at work.

  But they were not at work now.

  Morales kicked the bedroom door shut and wrapped her arms around Leo’s neck. She liked the feel of him this way. He was hard and soft in the space of single touch, and she kissed his ears as he guided her towards the bed and started to undo his tie.

  “See?” he said as he tossed the tie at her. Morales caught it midair and twisted it behind her head.

  “What am I looking at?” she teased.

  Leo lost his shirt and curled up beside her.

  “Right now? Just me, only me.”

  Morales ran her hand down his smooth, muscled chest. Before Leo, there were a series of anonymous encounters in bars, at last call, and Morales made a point to never learn their names.

  But she knew Leo’s name, knew Leo, and she liked the feel of both on the tip of her tongue.

  “Christ.”

  She fell back against the pillows, and he reached under her shirt. His hands moved about her middle, and when he undid her buttons and exposed her breasts, she felt the warm air from his lips falling over her in gentle waves.

  “We shouldn’t be doing this,” Morales said.

  Leo laughed and arched his body over her with a smile.

  “I know, I know. If it got out that my best cop was screwing the pooch---”

  “That’s not what I mean.”

  Morales sat up on the foot of the bed. The quick moved rocked Leo where he lay, but in a moment he was back up and at her side. He tentatively touched her shoulder.

  “Then what is it?”

  Morales sighed and ran her fingers through her hair.

  “Because…”

  Her eyes shifted to Leo’s. He was not posing now. He was not throwing his weight around and barking orders, and he was not asking her to do something that made her stomach turn. But when she saw him like this, a part of her believed that he only asked in the first place because they saw the same things and needed a friend in the night.

  And Morales was not above spinning the notion to her advantage.

  “Because it’s weird, Leo.”

  It took him a minute to catch on to her game, but once he was there, he smiled like a schoolboy caught in the act and took her into his arms.

  “So to each their own Connie is that what you’re trying to tell me?”

  Morales nodded, and he slowly returned the gesture.

  “Fine. Ethan Graff and Julie Edwards? Makes total sense. How could it not?”

  She knew that a part of him was just humoring her. A part of him got that if they were going to go down this road with Julie in the witness box, reliving her nightmare, then Leo would also have to accept that Ethan was part of the package.

  And Leo would have to try to work that to his advantage.

  “Okay, Connie. Takes all kinds. If you say they’re happy…”

  His voice trailed off as he started to kiss her neck. Yes. Ethan Graff and Julie Edwards were a kind of happy.

  But that would change when Morales made Leo’s desired request.

  2

  Julie Edwards was constantly cloaked in the aroma of roses and lilies and pansies and the rest. She knew from experience that there were far more awful perfumes. Like the stench of fading forced sex mingled with sweat and tears. She would take the flowers any and every day.

  “Julie? You still here?”

  She was in the employ of Nick’s “friend,” Danielle. She was an ample woman with a warm smile and long black hair. She often spoke too fast, and relaying one request was always loaded a with back story. She never just said that DeMaio’s needed another display right beside the coffin of someone’s fallen relative. She had to work in the entire history. A late woman who lived on lemon cake, which was before getting to the point that daisies were a must when it came to her final send off. Only then Julie could get to work on the order. Somehow her rapid fire delivery put the customers at ease. It put Julie at ease, too.

  “Yes. Do you need something else?”

  Danielle’s mouth went wide, and Julie caught a whiff of gum, masticated strawberry watermelon, that was ever present between her lips.

  “Julie! You shouldn’t still be here. You’ve only been talking about this since we had that wedding job in Queens, on the water. And I said that tulips made no sense, but you said ‘who are we to argue?’ And---”

  “I was there, Dani. I remember.”

  “Right! Sure you were. Sorry!”

  Julie liked Danielle. She liked her smile and her boundless energy. She liked the way Danielle knew that something horrific had happened to Julie, but she never pressed the point and just lapsed into another story.

  And right now she liked the fact that Danielle remembered where Julie needed to be.

  “I guess I lost track of time,” Julie said.

  Danielle tousled Julie’s hair and leaned close to her ear.

  “Good thing you got me in your corner, girl. So what’s the plan?”

  The plan was to wish Ethan a happy birthday. He claimed that he did not need anything more than a quiet night, a quiet weekend. They would stay home. Truth be told, Julie liked nothing better than just being with him. It was always a peaceful oasis far removed from her memories. But Julie was still determined to surprise him. Maybe she would even surprise herself.

  “It’s going to be special Dani, romantic.”

  Her fingers curled around the wet stem of a stray rose, and Julie assured herself that she could give Ethan this gift, and a part of her wanted it too.

  Danielle clapped her hands and started to hug Julie.

  “Oh. Sorry.”

  Julie had flinched. She did not want to, and she hated her inability to ignore the instinct. It was a lesson she had yet to unlearn, and she hoped that this night could bury it forever.

  “Dani, it’s cool. It’s fine.”

  Julie took her hand. The feel of Danielle was soft, and Julie hated that she still tensed at the first sensation. It was like that with everyone.

  Everyone except Ethan, kind of Ethan.

  They made love after Donna’s wedding. He had held her all morning and into the afternoon. They spent that Sunday on the rooftop. Ethan had kept his arm around her shoulders, and as the light turned to dark, he whispered into her ear that he was happy with her, and so was Julie. They prepared a pasta dinner, ate quickly, and once the dishes were stacked, he drew her back to his bed. As before, his kisses were tender and never once did he leave her in that most horrible place of silence.

  “You are beautiful, Juliet.”

  He stretched up the length of her body and eased his mouth to hers.

  And then Julie tensed at the kiss.

  “Juliet? Hey. What’s wrong?”

  She had felt his hands caressing her neck. More than anything she wanted to fall into his embrace and pretend. She had done it the night before. Why was it so hard now? Why was her mind suddenly flooded with memories of those most awful things that she had been forced to do? Was it not enough that she had been violated then? Why did it have to creep into now?

  “Juliet?”

  And she pulled away from him. Julie’s eyes filled with tears at the thought that last night was a fluke. She would never be able to be close to anyone again, even him. She fell at the side of
the bed and wrapped her arms around her knees.

  “I’m… I’m…”

  She could not get the rest of it out. She sobbed aloud, Ethan moved to her side, but he was careful not to touch her.

  “What is it? You can talk to me about it. You know you can.”

  She held her legs closer and shook her head in a desperate effort to push her memories away.

  “I… I can’t.”

  All she wanted to feel was normal. She wanted to know him and rest in his strong arms in the moments after and just sigh. But she could not get back to that special place. Now Julie could do nothing but cry.

  “I’m… I’m sorry, Ethan. I thought… I thought I was okay.”

  She turned her teary eyes to his patient, loving gaze. He always looked at her with those eyes, and she pressed her head to his chest. Ethan’s nose nuzzled her hair, but he still kept his hands where she could not feel them. It was nice of him to know what she was not ready for, but she hated the fact that she could not hold him.

  Julie lifted her tear-stained face to his.

  “It’s… it’s supposed to be okay now. We were together. And…”

  Her mind drifted back to the moments in his arms. She felt safe there. She was at peace there. And she wanted more of that.

  “But…”

  Right now she hated that word.

  “I… last night was like a dream. And now it’s over. So this is the end for me.”

  Julie pulled her body up and looked out the window. She watched the lights of the city flash by, so many lights, and so many lives. Had they been changed? Perhaps, by a suffering that no one could bear to speak of? Julie’s tears flowed more freely at the memory of men taking her, hurting her, and she resigned herself to a fate where they had hurt her. She would never really get past what they had done. It was horrible. She was free but still enslaved, and it would never end because she could not force it from her mind.

  “Juliet? Look at me. Please.”

  Ethan was at her side, and she turned her face to his. He smiled and lowered his brow to hers.

  “It’s not the end. Not for you,”

  He dared to take her hand, and his touch was sweet.

  “And not for me.”

  Julie leaned back and stared at him hard. The lines on his face lifted towards his bright blue eyes as held her hand tighter.

  “But… but if I can’t…”

  Julie’s voice disappeared, and she hung her head. Ethan’s fingers found their way to her chin, and he returned her eyes to his stare.

  “Then we’ll make it work. I’ll never make you do one thing that you don’t want. I… I just want you to feel safe.”

  Julie felt his touch leave her skin, but he still stayed close.

  “Listen to me,” he started.

  Julie was at full attention as he spoke.

  “I want you in my life. I need you here. But being forced? That’s over.”

  She could not help but sigh at his assurance. Julie relaxed and wiped her face. She was tired of tears on her cheeks.

  “Is it?” she asked.

  Ethan gave her a firm nod.

  “Absolutely. You never have to be afraid again ever. And whatever this is…”

  Julie watched his eyes soften further, and she found the strength to touch him. Her fingers unfolded around his neck, and she rested her face to his.

  “Whatever this is… it’s good. And… and I want you in my life, too,” she murmured.

  That night they slept beside one another, just slept. When Julie awoke to the sight of Ethan’s eyes looking at her with what seemed like love, she knew that he was a man of his word. For him it was just enough to just sleep at her side and wake up to see her dreaming anything but more nightmares.

  “Ethan?”

  His hand surrounded her face, his finger gently traced the space of her scar, and he laid a light kiss on her brow.

  “Is that okay?” he asked.

  Julie nodded, and he left her side with a promise to fix breakfast.

  Ethan Graff was as good as his word. He smiled when they sat down to oatmeal or when they took walks down city streets or when she slept at his side with nothing but his hand in hers. One night, she woke up startled because the memories hovered too close. Julie pressed her body closer to Ethan’s. As she shivered, his arms found their way around her body, and he gently kissed her hair.

  “It’s okay, Juliet. No one’s going to hurt you here. I promise.”

  And in that moment, she vowed to give it another try.

  Danielle left her hand and patted Julie’s shoulder.

  “Go bake him a cake. Tell him I hope all that his wishes come true. Although I think he’s like already there. But seriously, enjoy, Julie!”

  “Thanks, Dani.”

  Julie left the shop and walked the streets until she reached the market just down the block from Ethan’s building. Every item was high priced, but at this moment, Julie did not care. She grabbed a basket from beside the door and moved down the aisle. The cake was easy, angel food with vanilla icing. She knew that was what he liked, and it would be cooling on the counter, concealed from his view, until the moment she presented it all lit up. Julie smiled to herself at the thought of making him close his eyes until the big reveal. She had no doubt that he would waste his wish on her. But Julie wanted to grant him the wish he would never dare to even imagine. It was not just for him. Julie wanted to be normal; she wanted this to be normal.

  She could do this.

  For dinner, she would serve a roasted chicken with glazed carrots and mashed potatoes. Julie placed the necessary items into her basket, paid with cash, and headed back into the afternoon.

  There was a chill in the air, slight but certain. It was the start of a new year, and another summer had come and gone. Ethan never asked her if she wanted to venture outside the city. He knew all too well that she just wanted to stay home.

  She wanted to stay at their home.

  As she kept walking, Julie’s mother entered her mind.

  They had only shared one moment of contact since Sharon Heller made her feelings known and opted to support her husband, the procurer of innocent flesh. What happened to the woman who never wanted her little girl to stray from the front yard? Why was she so weak and stupid?

  It was Spring and Julie was dressing up for work when her phone buzzed. She looked to see who was calling and recognized her mother’s number. She hesitated at the sight of it, but the hope that an apology might finally pass through her lips led Julie to answer.

  “Hey, Mom.”

  Sharon Heller was silent for more seconds than Julie could bear, so it fell to the daughter to make the conversation happen.

  “So… what’s up?”

  Over the phone Sharon sighed, and Julie could picture her mother in the home that Leo Barber said was refinanced to get Greg the best lawyer on tap when his day in court rolled around. Julie knew that when that horrible moment arrived, Leo would ask her to give a statement. Maybe something would happen to Greg before that day. She longed for the earth to just open up and swallow him whole. Let him struggle for air under the dirt for as long as possible. He did not deserve to get off easily.

  “Julie… can we meet, for lunch or something?”

  And Julie agreed. Maybe her mother wanted to explain and apologize in person. Julie told herself that she would believe it when she saw her mother’s eyes.

  Ethan was far from the same mind.

  “I don’t like this.”

  They agreed to meet on a Sunday, after church. Sharon Heller had suddenly become very religious. While Julie hoped that she was praying for forgiveness, Ethan believed that she was looking for the awful, impossible miracle that would make it like nothing had ever happened. Julie got that. To have it never have happened, for Kim to somehow still be alive, was a dream that mingled with her endless nightmares.

  “It’s fine. He won’t be there.”

  Julie wanted to see her mother in the hope that she no
longer blamed Julie for something in which she had no say. She did not want it to be an acrimonious encounter, but the one thing that she insisted on was Sharon flying solo. Forgiving her mother for lashing out from a place of desperate confusion was one thing, but Greg? No absolution for him. The man had blood on his hands that seeped into his skin, and Julie was afraid of what she might do if she was forced to look him in the eye.

  Ethan stood behind her as she buttoned her blouse in the mirror, and he gently placed his hands on her shoulders.

  “You don’t have to go,” Ethan said. “She doesn’t deserve this. She… she doesn’t deserve you.”

  Julie’s collar stretched to her neck, and she had applied more foundation than usual in an effort to hide the scar that stretched across her cheek. It was an olive branch, and Julie did not want Sharon’s focus to be consumed by her injuries. She knew what they were and what Julie had endured. Some pleas for miracles were destined to stay unanswered, but maybe there was a way to move forward.

  Julie wrapped her arms around Ethan’s neck and whispered into his chest.

  “I’ll be okay. I can do this”

  Ethan lifted her eyes to his and ran his fingers through her hair.

  “I know that you can. But that doesn’t mean you have to. Juliet…”

  He kissed her brow and folded his arm around her shoulders.

  “Let me come with you. Please. I… I don’t want her to hurt you again.”

  Julie slipped back into his arms, and his hold grew tight. She flashed back to the hours, the weeks, the months spent in captivity. She did not want to return to that place of pain. She could not take another blow from her mother. But now, with so much time gone by, she had to be thinking straight, and Julie wanted to hear “I’m sorry.” They were only words, but they were all that Sharon had to offer. Julie vowed to accept them when they finally passed between her lips.

  “Ethan?”

  She looked into his eyes and pressed her hand to his face.

  “I mean it. I don’t want her messing with you. I know she’s your mother, but---”

  “Stop.”

  She gave his cheek a quick kiss and felt him sigh at the touch of her lips on his skin.